Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize