Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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