Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
