He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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