when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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