I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
