it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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