apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
