My first STD was from a foam party
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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