ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
