You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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