I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
