pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
