Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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