Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
