can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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