she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
