I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
