Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
