either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
