I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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