Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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