He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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