I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
