I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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