I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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