He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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