I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
