I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
