that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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