What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
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So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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