No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
