That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
