I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize