I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
