sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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