What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
