And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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