Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
