Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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