I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
A bitchslap is in order.
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