PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
