I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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