I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
