I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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