The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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