if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
