so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
