so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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