I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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