Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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