She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
