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so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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