I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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