I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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