like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
