idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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