sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
