Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
