legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
