I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
