So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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