I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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