the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
