I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
